In an opinion piece for Greater Good magazine, Professor Natasha Cabrera argues that although nonresident fathers may face obstacles to staying engaged, often related to their financial circumstances or access to their kids, many are committed and motivated parents that play a vital role in their children’s development. Cabrera provides recommendations for ways co-parents, schools, health care providers and policy makers can support nonresident fathers’ meaningful involvement with their children.
One central point: it is entirely possible to be engaged and deeply involved with children who do not live with you. Physical residence is not a necessary condition for engagement. Examining how much time, the quality of the time spent with children, and the myriad ways to be engaged helps researchers understand how fathers make a difference in their children’s lives.
Spending time with children in fun activities such as social play, or doing errands, and shopping, help fathers get to know children and develop a genuine connection with them. These activities support children’s cognitive development, as well as their social skills, executive function, and self-regulation. Exposing children to manageable stress—such as climbing a tall ladder or joining a new group of kids to play—promotes trust and gets children out of their comfort zone. Fathers are key in showing compassion, conflict resolution skills, and positive ways to deal with disappointment.
