Fathers in the United States are spending more time caring for their children now than 10 years ago, and they’re highly invested in parenting. In a 2022 Pew Research Center study, 85% of U.S. dads said being a parent was the most or one of the most important parts of their identity.
While an overwhelming majority of Americans think children do best when mothers and fathers focus equally on their careers and childcare, most still believe society values men’s contributions in the workforce over their roles at home, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center study.
Natasha J. Cabrera, a developmental psychologist and professor and director of the Family Involvement Laboratory at the University of Maryland College of Education, has teamed up with Columbia University economist Ronald B. Mincy to challenge the idea that a father’s most important role is that of breadwinner. The pair co-authored the recent book “How Fathers Help Their Children Develop: Money and Love,” which examines how both financial and emotional support from dads contribute to children’s development and well-being.
Cabrera reflected in an interview on why researchers can’t truly understand child development without including dads, why loving relationships between fathers and children matter, and how dads can best support their kids.
How did you become interested in studying fatherhood?
When I had my twins, I had just finished grad school. I thought, “This is not possible. How can I have two babies? I can hardly water my plants.”
At first, I thought I had to have all the answers. But I realized how important it was for my husband to be a parent in ways I wasn't. I realized he and I were loving them in different ways.
How has your work helped fill in gaps in parenting research?
In early developmental science studies, researchers assumed moms and dads were the same, and if you interviewed the mom, you’d get the whole perspective. Those studies were based on an outdated model of families: mom and dad and the picket fence. Families today are very diverse, including recombined families and single-parent families.
Since the late 1990s, I’ve been conducting studies to bring fathers, especially fathers of color and from low-income backgrounds, into the scholarly literature. Now we have evidence that fathers make a unique contribution to children’s development that is not the same as moms.
We can no longer do research that excludes one of the most important influences on children’s development. We cannot fully understand child development if fathers are not part of those studies.
What are some ways fathers parent differently from mothers?
In my research, I’ve found dads have more of an impact on their children’s linguistic development than moms because dads tend to use more complex sentences and challenge the child to explain things in more sophisticated language. Fathers are also more likely to engage in rough-and-tumble play, which helps kids safely take risks and self-regulate. In terms of discipline, dads are more direct and negotiate less.
Fathers, in their own right, matter for kids’ development. It’s perfectly fine to have just a mom or a dad, or two moms or two dads, but moms and dads bring different things to the table. When a father is in the household, that father matters just as much as the mom.
In your book, you discuss the “love story” and the “money story.” Why are fathers’ emotional and financial support both important?
Developmental psychologists like me focus on relationships and behaviors, and economists such as my co-author focus on how much money fathers make. Together, we came to understand that we need to think about how fathers contribute both money and love. We need to understand the whole reality of a child, not just our siloed view of it.
Fathers are more than just money. Money obviously matters. With money, you can live in nicer places and buy things for your kids. But even if you don't have a lot of money or education, you can invest in your child through love and positive interactions.
I think society has minimized some of the impact fathers have by trying to convince fathers, especially low-income dads, that the most important thing they can do for their kids is work. Minimum wage is not going up, so they’re working three or four jobs. Then where is the time to spend time with their children? Men are not just working machines. They want to work, but they also want to get to know their children and enjoy them.
What are some major findings from the original research you include in the book?
We looked at a national dataset of 5,000 children born in the mid- to late 1990s. We measured the money story based on fathers’ income and education, and the love story based on how much time fathers spend with their kids in different activities such as playing, reading and caregiving. The contributions of both money and love to children’s development were significant, and love resulted in a bit more of a significant difference. Both matter.
We also found that fathers who don’t live with their children but spend a lot of time in these activities make a big difference, especially for boys’ behavior and social competence. Residency is not a condition for father involvement.
How do loving relationships benefit fathers, children and families?
Studies have shown that fathers who have loving relationships with their children have better physical health outcomes in areas such as obesity and hypertension. Dads and kids can encourage each other to be more physically active together. Studies have also shown that low-income dads who are positively engaged in their children’s lives tend to take fewer risks and take better care of themselves.
When fathers are engaged with their children, it has a positive effect on mothering behaviors. Father involvement is good for the entire family system.
How do you hope your work will influence public policy and programs?
We need policies that better reflect that both fathers and mothers work outside the home and contribute financially and emotionally. We don’t give enough support to parents. For example, health insurance should cover counseling for parents. We also need parental leave for mothers and dads. Both low-income and middle-class dads don’t get validated for just being parents.
What advice would you give to fathers?
Love your child, talk to your child, spend time with your child. It is so rewarding when in every moment of development, you’re in awe of your child. At the same time, relationships are hard. Don't give up. You don’t have to be a perfect parent. You just have to be a loving parent.
What are your next steps in your work on fatherhood?
My colleagues and I have created books for each developmental stage of the first two years. They give parents, especially low-income dads and moms, accessible information about what to expect. We have about 420 families in our study, and nearly all the parents say they love the books. We want to see if information we give to parents early in development has a long-lasting effect on kids.
I want every parent in the U.S. to be given these books in the pediatrician's office. That would be fabulous. Then I can retire.
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